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Friday, October 4, 2013

Should You Tell Your Partner About Past Loves?



Vermont couple Leon Marasco and Kate Harper were friends for 17 years before they became romantically involved.

Because of that friendship, they knew all about each other’s former partners and felt that that knowledge deepened the bond between them." href="//">Kate Harper and Leon Marasco have been married since 1994. (

Kate Harper and Leon Marasco have been married since 1994. (

Harper and Marasco wondered if other couples had had similar experiences.

After doing interviews and collecting hundreds of stories, they found the answer seems to be yes.

They share their findings in their books, “If Only I Could Tell You…: Where Past Loves and Current Intimacy Meet” and “Heartscapes: True Stories of Remembered Love.”

As Marasco tells Here & Now, if true intimacy is based on knowing and being known by your partner, “and we keep the part of ourself secret — consciously or unconsciously — that is involved with our deepest heart and soul connections, we can’t be very well-known.”

As a result, Marasco and Harper have founded “Past Loves Day” — a day for those to share their romantic memories. They say it should be celebrated on September 17th.


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Robin Young and Jeremy Hobson host Here & Now, a live two-hour production of NPR and WBUR Boston.

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